Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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