You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
