I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
