What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
