You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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