Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
