theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
