i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
