Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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