and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He better not be in your backpack
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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