Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
