I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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