i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Pooping to opera.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize