I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
