i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
