Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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