Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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