well most of my day revolves around power hour
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
