the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
