What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
