My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
