This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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