we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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