Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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