Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
