They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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