high people should be assigned attendants
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
