I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize