I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
