Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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