I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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