Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
