Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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