I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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