Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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