i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
