guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
