If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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