the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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