i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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