you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I didn't notice because vodka
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
