I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is Oprah even human
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
