I got chris browned last night
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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