A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
