No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
