Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
