Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
