I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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