Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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