Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
