is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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