I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
In America we eat man semen.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
