He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
