Betty ford says i'm here all night
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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