it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
