Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
