He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I touched a dick in church today
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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