haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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