But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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