somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
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he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I FOUND THE LEGS