yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Mom said you looked used
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
