I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
