just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
