the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
