I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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