didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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