Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
