Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize